


i mean, it's never too late.

by humorlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Pen Pals, Suicide, orphan!louis, zouis friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-01 00:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humorlarry/pseuds/humorlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>before louis goes to Uni, he finds an old note from a pen pal under his bed and is determined to write the pen pal back to get a weight lifted off of his chest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i would

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic leave me alone and enjoy!

Louis Tomlinson was a nobody in life.

 

In school and at his foster home, he went unnoticed. The only thing that he was noticed by was his friend, Zayn Malik. Zayn was tan like himself and had beautiful eyes. All the girls and boys were always all over him. He was his best friend and he was the only thing important to him. Louis was about to begin studying psychology in Uni and he guessed that was something that really interested him, but not very much. He just had a lot of questions and needed them answered. His father left his mother when he was seven and a year later, he found her in her closet, a bullet through her head and blood splattered all over her nice white church clothes. That scarred him for life and he didn’t know how he coped through that at the small age of eight. She left him without a note and Louis wondered if he could ever forgive her.

 

And now, Louis was finally moving out of his foster home and into the real world with his only friend. As he packed up, he found an envelope under his bed and on it was his old address written in the biggest, 1st grader like handwriting he’s ever seen. The last time he saw that letter was when he moved into this house eight years ago. It never drew much significance to him that time, but now something had clicked in his brain. It was his pen pal. The one his mother had gotten him before she decided to put a bullet in her head. It was like she was trying to keep him from being lonely. It had happened too quickly though, his mother’s death, that he had forgotten completely of this boy whom he was supposed to exchange letters with. He remembered it, how the week before her death she gave him the letter and he just tossed it to the side as if nothing. It hurt him to think about it. After he said goodbye to his foster family, whom he had no emotional connection with (although he did cry a bit), he drove off with the boxes and the letter in his back pocket. He told Zayn about it as they were moving into their new dorm at the campus.

 

“I found a note.” He stated simply.  
  
“Oh, yeah? Is it that boy that sat in back of you in Chem who wanted to fuck you deeply?”

 

“No. And he didn’t want to fuck me, stop making things up.”

 

“So…?”

 

“So, what?”

 

“Aren’t you going to tell me what the note was about?” Zayn asked with a stupid grin on his face.

 

“Well, I’m not in the mood anymore. Piss off.” Louis sighed, but Zayn didn’t and they ended up on the same bed asleep instead of on their separate ones. Whenever they would sleep over each other’s houses, they would sleep on the same bed and cuddle. Zayn was like home and Louis felt comfortable with his head on Zayn’s chest and Zayn’s arms wrapped around him. He found Zayn beautiful and he loved him, but he’d never want him sexually or as a boyfriend. He was like a brother sort of and Louis found nothing wrong with that. A brother that you could cuddle with and a brother that wouldn’t judge you, if that made any sense whatsoever. He cried in Zayn’s arms that night, not knowing why and he really didn’t want to start classes tomorrow.

 

Louis woke himself up to Zayn walking into their dorm with just a towel around his waist and then he was in their closet, looking for something to wear. He must’ve made noise, because Zayn greeted him with “Hello, starshine. Have a nice sleep?” to which Louis replied with a grumble and a small yes, of course.

 

He then got up and found that he had slept in his clothes from yesterday and the note in his back pocket was still there. He wondered why he had never remembered about the envelope before. He thought now would be a perfect time to read it, because why not? He opened the envelope and sat on the desk, taking the two page letter out and unfolding it.

 

_Dear Louis,_

_I am Harry Edward Styles. My mommy signed me up to have a pen pal and you were it. Hello. I like the name Louis very much. Do you mind if I call you Lou? I live in Holmes Chapel. There aren’t very much people here. My mommy told me you lived in Doncaster and if so, what is it like? Is it fun there? Maybe I can visit one day with my mommy. My daddy left two months ago. I counted. My mommy says that it’s okay that he left, although I see her crying often. I think I might have a new daddy soon, though. I also have an older sister named Gemma and a cat named Princess. Princess is grey and sometimes I try to put my sister’s tiara on her like a real princess, but my sister gets mad at me and takes it away. I am six years old and I have  big dimples, people tell me. My hair is straight, but I hope to have curls like my mommy and my sister do. How old are you and what do you look like, Lou? People say I have a nice smile, so I try to smile each and every day. I am smiling as I write this letter. Do you like flowers? I like flowers, because they’re pretty and they always smell nice. I bet if flowers could talk, they’d be nicer than people. I go to Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School and people aren’t very nice here. I do not like it one bit. Comprehensive is a long word and I do not know what it means. Do you? My favorite movie is The Little Mermaid. It’s about a mermaid who wants to be human and I won’t tell you what happens in the end. But who wouldn’t want to be a mermaid? I think if I wasn’t a boy, I’d want to be a mermaid and swim under the sea. Do you like mermaids? What’s your favorite movie? I hope you write back to me, so we can become the best of friends._

_Yours sincerely, Harry._

_P.S My mommy told me it would be nice to put a picture of myself._

 

The letter was decorated with hearts and smiley faces and with that, Louis cried after he read it. He didn’t know why he was crying, but he was. He was sobbing into his hands and he wanted to know this boy, because what if the boy needed his help? Sure, this was about ten years ago, but Louis had needed help then. Harry’s father left the poor innocent boy and his family just like his own father left Louis’ family. It was sad, because Harry mentioned how people weren’t very nice to him and Louis could’ve changed that by being his friend. Except, he didn’t. He never wrote back to him and he wondered how long Harry waited for Louis to bring the letter. He wondered if Harry’s mom found out that Louis’ mom past away and that is why Louis never wrote back. He wondered so many things and it killed him. He couldn’t stop crying.

 

He pinned the note on the corkboard when Zayn walked in.

 

“Hey, bro, why are you crying? What are you hanging up?” He asked and Louis sat back down on the bed and wiped his face with his sleeve.

 

“The note. I’m going to write back to him. I will.” Louis sighed and ran a hand through his tangled hair.

 

“Can I read the note? Who’s it from?” Zayn asked with concern in his eyes.

 

“Harry.” Louis said the name like he knew the boy, but Zayn never heard of him in his life.

 

“Can I read it?” He asked and Louis nodded before going into the hallway bathroom to take a shower and get ready for his classes. When he came back, Zayn was sat on his bed with the note in his hands.

 

“So, you had a pen pal and you never wrote him back?” He asked.

 

Louis nodded. “Well, he was a rather cute kid.” Zayn murmured and Louis raised an eyebrow. He then remembered that Harry said he left a photo of him in the envelope. He moved towards Zayn and grabbed the picture from his hands to see a smiling boy with big dimples. He was a cute kid and his smile was nice.

 

“And you’re gonna write back to him? Louis, you do realize this was a long time ago, right? He won’t remember you. He’s sixteen now. He probably doesn’t even live in the same house as he did.”

 

Louis glared at him. “I don’t care. I mean, it’s never too late. He wrote me a letter, young and innocent while I was the same and-and now that I know about it, it would lift a weight off my chest. He was lonely, Zayn. He needed me.” He whispered and Zayn shrugged.

 

“Alright. Do whatever you heart desires.” He whispered and pecked the side of Louis’ head.

 

They went to classes that day and had coffee afterwards at some local coffee shop. Zayn had to leave, because after their first class, a boy began to talk and flirt with Zayn and eventually asked him out on a date. Louis wished it was that easy for himself. To have boys and girls thrown all over him. Instead, he just had one best friend and a few acquaintances. He turned on his iPod and listened to some of his favorite music to calm himself down as he put the pencil onto the paper and began to write:

 

_Dear Harry,_

_You probably do not remember me. You wrote to me when you were six years old and I was eight. I am writing to you now, because I did not find your letter until yesterday. It is obviously okay if you call me Lou. Doncaster is great and it’s the best city. I’ve lived here my whole life and nothing really changes, besides the people of course. You might be wondering why I’m telling you this and it’s because you asked me a lot of questions when you wrote to me and I find that endearing. You might be wondering why I’m writing letters to you while it’s 2010 and I can easily look you up on Facebook, but wouldn’t that be too easy? I hope you don’t get bothered by this letter if you do read it. I don’t know what to tell you, but answer your questions. I hope you still have your cat Princess and I hope you have curly hair like you wanted. I’m sorry for what happened between your mother and father and coincidentally, the same thing was happening between my mother and father except my mother died a year later. I hope your mother found someone she loves. I’m eighteen now, but I was eight at the time you sent the letter, like I’ve said before. I have brown straight hair in a small fringe and blue eyes that some people say are really nice. (Really only my foster family says so. I think only because they had brown eyes, which I think are equally beautiful.) I’m studying psychology in Uni as of today and I have one friend by the name of Zayn. I’ve known him since I first entered middle school. I do like flowers and smelling them whenever I go to a flower shop. On Valentine’s Day in the tenth grade, a boy gave me a bouquet of flowers. We began to date and he dumped me a week later. I’m content with my life and I hope you’re content with yours. I’m only telling you that, because that me telling you of my one week romance may come off as me sounding depressed, but I’m honestly not. I hope you know what the word Comprehensive means by now. I think being a mermaid would be nice, but I have yet to see The Little Mermaid. Thank GOD your little six year old self didn’t tell me what happened in the end haha. I don’t have a favorite film, though and I’m sorry I’m not very interesting with stuff like that, but I do like to act, sing and play football. I was so set on becoming a singer or an actor or a football player, but I realized I didn’t have what it takes to become one. I’m sorry it took a decade for me to write this letter and I hope you’re still smiling as you read this._

_Yours Sincerely, Louis._

_P.S I decided to put a photo of myself in there, because I didn’t want you to think I was a 40 year old creep or something._

  
Louis smiled at the letter and read it three times before folding it and sticking it into the white envelope with a picture of himself. He sealed it with his tongue and wrote the information he needed to send the letter off. Then he walked back to the Uni and dropped the letter off at the mailbox. Now, all he had to do was wait for Harry to read it and write him back.

 


	2. moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry receives louis' letter after a decade

Harry was okay with his life.

 

He had a boyfriend and a great group of friends. When he was eight, his mother remarried with a man that would be his step-father. His step-father insisted they move to a larger house, but his mother insisted to stay in the same home. Why? Harry never knew. But by the time he was ten, their house was being remodelled into something bigger. He finally got his own room instead of having to share with his sister and have duct tape be the only thing separating them. They even made a small room for Princess, although Princess died when Harry was thirteen. He cried for days. Harry had gotten new clothes and a maid to clean his room and when he was fourteen he moved to a private school for the rich. Harry’s step-father was the founder of a successful company and Harry was so happy.

 

Harry then turned fifteen and everything changed. Gemma moved out to go to college and he was okay with that, because he finally had friends and she would visit every holiday. But when his mother had to go get groceries and he was in his room on his laptop, his step-father walked in and yelled at him before he hit him twice for getting a C- in Algebra and being a disappointment to the family. Harry didn’t know what to do after that. He just cried in his bedroom, because his step-father was strong and it hurt most of all to know that he was a disappointment.

 

His step-father continuously threatened him for a year that he would hit him again if he ever got a C and when he got a C in Chemistry, his step-father lost it, because that was the “easiest class a Johnson could take.” Harry didn’t want to be Harry Johnson. He was Harry Styles and nothing would change that. When he told his step-father that one day, his father hit him again and told him that was no longer true and that he wasn’t his step-father anymore. He was his father and Harry just nodded with a weak, “Okay, Dad.” and then he walked away as if nothing happened.

 

He would never tell his mother, because she was in love with him. She didn’t want to disappoint her, too, even though his dad told her about Harry’s grades. She would get mad at him, but then tell him it was okay with her in private.

 

“A ‘C’ is still passing, sweetheart.” She whispered as she sat on the side of his bed, pushing his curls out of his face. “I made you cookies.” She would say and place a plate of warm cookies on his nightstand. She would leave and come back in the morning to find the cookies all gone and eaten, nothing but small crumbs.

 

Harry realized he was gay when he started talking to James. James was three years older than him and he was going to Uni an hour away to become a teacher. He was his Chemistry tutor and Harry’s dad had hired him to help him bring that C to a big, bright A+. But slowly, Harry began to fall for the guy with huge biceps and a smart brain. Harry kissed him and James kissed him back and before they knew it, they were making love in Harry’s bedroom.

 

Harry loved James, he really did. When he told his mother that he was gay, she told him she accepted it and that she loved him. James and Harry decided to keep their relationship a secret, because James could go to jail or be charged for dating a minor. It was pointless telling anyone anyways.

 

When Harry told Gemma over the phone, she accepted him as well. Harry soon told his dad with much confidence and his dads’ eyes turned dark with anger. He smacked him across the face and exclaimed that his son wasn’t a faggot. Harry felt tears grow in his eyes and swung back at him, punching him square in the face. His dad obviously wasn’t expecting it, because he fell to the floor and bled from his nose. Harry had ran to his room, locked his door, pushed his drawer in front, so no one could get in and cried. He was way too afraid of his father. He laid in bed and talked to James on the phone. James made him smile and his tummy hurt with butterflies. James was too perfect.

 

The next day, he heard his mother’s voice and her fists banging on the door. He pushed his drawer out of the way and let her inside.

 

“My baby, what happened? Why’d you lock the door? Are you okay? You scared the living hell out of me, Harry, Jesus.” She whispered and hugged him.

 

Harry began to cry into her arms and hug her tighter.

 

“My-My boy-boyfriend br-broke up with me.” He lied, making it totally believable.

 

He wouldn’t tell his mother about the abuse, because his dad made her so happy. He could tell and never did he ever want to make anyone in his life sad.

 

She just hugged him and had a huge talk with him about how the first heartbreak will always be the hardest, but there will be so many before you find the perfect one. Yeah, the perfect one, he thought before urging himself to not shake his head at how ridiculously crazy that sounded. His mother had no idea how fucking crazy his dad was. After she left his room, he took a shower and cried while the hot water hit him from above. When he got out, he pulled on a t shirt, tucked it into his khaki shorts and put a belt on.

 

When he walked down the stairs, nobody was home besides him and his maid. She was making Harry’s favorite pie and he wondered if it was a request from his mother. He thanked Mrs. Cooper, who had grown as a grandmother to him and kissed her cheek before walking out of the house. He had to get out of the house. He walked through the neighborhood and got to the park, climbing up on the playground and settling inside a small compartment that was kind of too big for him. He just loved to look at the yellow plastic and see his name written there along with all of his friends. They wrote that when they were only twelve, thinking they were the coolest bad kids in Holmes Chapel.

 

He slipped out his phone and texted James, asking if he wanted to see a movie that night.

 

James declined simply without an excuse and it hurt a bit. Harry slid down from the playground and walked to his friend, Steve’s house. Steve was nice and one of his closest friends. They were so close, that they contemplated playing sword fights with their dicks. Of course, they were only kidding.

 

Harry got there, but Steve wasn’t home. That he had gone to Uni a month ago and oh, Harry thought. That’s right. Of course. Harry really had to start making friends with people his age. Of course, he had plenty. But his closest were already getting careers in business and becoming doctors and what not. It bummed him out so bad.

 

When he got back home, his dad was sitting on the couch with a bottle of booze in his hand. He quickly ran up the stairs to his room to avoid getting caught and found an envelope lying on his bed.

 

On the front, it had pretty cursive writing that had his name and address on it. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he got mail. It must’ve been so long ago. He sliced open the top with his finger and out fell a photograph with a beautifully tan boy with gorgeously light blue eyes, making a silly face that made his eyes cross. Harry smiled at it before he unfolded the letter and read it out loud to himself.

 

He couldn’t stop smiling and giggling afterwards, with tears in his eyes from either sadness or happiness. His tummy hurt an awful lot and to see that this beautiful man was speaking to him like this made him giggle. He set the letter down on his bed and walked over to his desk, looking for a leather journal his mother had given him for the pen pal with tear-easy papers. He scrambled through his clutter of ten years before laying his hands on it and what was written on the first page was a very messy six year old Harry’s draft of the letter sent to Louis.

 

Louis was absolutely adorable.

 

He quickly flipped open to a new page on the journal and began to write.

 

_Dear Lou,_

 

_You’re a wonderful human being. You’ve brightened me up on a horrid day. I find it funny how you replied to my six year old self as if I was still six years old. Of course I remember you. I remember crying a month later after sending it. My mother had told me that you couldn’t write back and I was so sad, because you never answered my questions and now you have. I think it is great that you did not try and add me on Facebook, because I rarely check that and writing letters is way cooler haha._

_Firstly, I’m not one bit bothered._

_Secondly, Princess died three years ago and I will not get another cat because of it. I do finally have curly hair and I regret wishing for it, because it is always all over the place and it cannot be tamed. It is very curly. I’m sorry for what happened to your mother and I hope you’re doing okay, Lou. As for my mother, she did find the one she loves and I am very happy for her. I as well found an amazing boy who's in Uni and is my Chemistry tutor. You are the first to know about this and I hope you’re good at keeping secrets._

_I think you have the most amazing blue eyes I’ve ever seen. That is coming from a guy with green eyes. I find psychology interesting. I took a psychology class in tenth grade and passed it with an A+. Also, do you know what significant figures are? I’ve taken Chemistry for a year now and that stuff, still confuses the hell out of me.I’m now in the first semester of eleventh grade. I take it it’s your first day of Uni, so how was it like? I know this because my sister headed off to Uni a year ago to study who knows what. Today was her first day of sophomore year. I’m glad you like flowers and I’m glad you’re content with your life. I still do not know what the word Comprehensive means after ten years. I had to ask Google for a definition on that one. I still want to be a mermaid, for my life would be easier and I would be able to swim all the time. I’m in the swim team at school, although I don’t do very good, I still try my best. I would like to be a singer as well, but my father says I’m not good enough and that I should stick to becoming something reasonable like a doctor or lawyer. Even though, I suck at science and I’m very bad in arguments. Were you in a football team in high school? Do Uni’s have football teams? If so, you should join. I bet you’d do wonderful._

_Also, do you smoke or drink? I have never done so before, but my boyfriend is pressuring me into doing so. He says it’s a relaxing, but I’m afraid of becoming addicted to it. I forgive you for taking so long to write this letter :). I think you’re sweet and I would love to be your penpal and most importantly, the friend you can speak to when you need someone there for you. I can’t wait for your reply._

 

_Your (new) Friend, Harry. x_

 

_P.S The Little Mermaid is still my favorite movie._

 

_P.P.S Do not watch it yet, because I want to watch it with you soon._

 

_P.P.S Attached is the most recent photograph I’ve taken of myself, taken almost a month ago. I look exactly the same. I promise I didn't gain 300 lbs or grow a goatee over the course of 30 days :D x_

 

Harry smiled wide at the paper and reread it before tearing it out of the small leather journal and putting cute stickers on it. He sneaked across the hall into his father’s office and stole a white envelope from the bunch he had. Then, he figured he’d be writing a lot, so he grabbed ten or eleven of them before racing off to his room. He put the letter inside along with the photograph of himself.

 

He sealed it and wrote Louis’ name along with the information needed. He put it in his back pocket before walking downstairs and eating a nice slice of pie. It tasted so good and he had forgot about the incident from last night until his dad came into the kitchen. Harry just looked down at his pie and chewed silently before he swallowed.

 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you I got a 96 on my Chemistry test, Dad.” Harry said quietly, looking up at him to see what he would say.

 

“That’s great Harry, but you could’ve done better than that. Talk to me when you get an A plus on your report card. Then I’ll be excited.” His step-father said. Harry didn’t think his step-father deserved the title of Dad.

 

Harry walked out of the house soon after his step-father exited the kitchen to go to work. He slipped the envelope out of his back pocket, inhaled and then exhaled. He tried not to think too much about it as he slipped the envelope into the slot, hearing it fall into the small, empty container before walking back home.

 

He really couldn’t wait to get a reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please point out my mistakes bc i think i make plenty, also if you like it, do something about it to motivate me to keep writing it. thank youuuuuuuuuuuu


	3. i wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> louis receives harry's second letter

When Louis woke up, he didn’t know where he was.

The sun was a glowing bright against his eyes and it  must’ve been at least 6 o’clock in the morning. His head pounded as he sat up and pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes, groaning. When he opened his eyes and adjusted them, all he saw was a big green lawn, kids and a lot of red plastic cups.

Zayn had taken him to a party the night before, let him get drunk and then left him there.

Fucking Zayn.

Louis slowly stood up and regained his balance, walking off of the house property. His bum ached like hell and either he had sex with two men last night at the same time, or he was gang banged. He hoped it was the first one.

-

When he got back to Uni, he went up to his dorm and laid on the bed. Zayn wasn’t there, so he couldn’t get mad at him. The sun was still really bright and bothering his eyes. He believed his tight skinny jeans caused his thighs to lose circulation and he felt exhausted as fuck.

Then, he felt something poking his tummy. He moved his hand to reach for it and out he pulled an envelope, signed to Lou Tomlinson. It instantly made him feel a lot better. Harry wrote back to him. He actually read the letter and wrote back to him and wow, it felt so nice. He felt great and he just wanted to kiss someone and be held and be loved and wow, Louis was really out of it.

He slipped the letter out and before he unfolded it, he took a deep breath.

Then, he opened it and began to read it.

His eyes scanned the words and lines and then, he could barely see because he was fucking crying of joy. He didn’t know what was making him cry so much, but maybe it was just the fact that it was Harry.

Harry, the boy who he forgot to write back to. The little lonely boy with a big smile and nice dimples who now had curls.

He pinned the letter and picture to the corkboard hanging above his bed before he went to take a shower.

There, he bumped into someone oddly familiar.

Liam.

A man with huge biceps and a nice but odd looking chest and a goofy smile.

That was who he had sex with last night. He could remember clearly now that Liam held him down as if Louis was a small doll and fucked into him without any remorse.

Liam.

-

Louis got ready for class and sat next to Zayn who was already sat and talking to some cute girl next to him.

That whore.

Louis sighed and took out his notebook as class started. He was exhausted and the professor had a strong accent that he couldn’t understand at all. It bugged him so much, that he thought about writing Harry’s letter right then and there. So, he did.

_Dear, Harry Styles._

_You’re so beautiful. I’m glad I brightened you up, but why was your day horrid? I’m sorry I made you cry and I want to hug you. If you let me of course. I’m sorry about Princess and your messy curls. I’m glad your mother found someone she loved. I’m great at keeping secrets and I’m so flattered (:P) that you have only told me. Thank you for telling me my eyes are beautiful, because so are yours. Your boyfriend is a lucky lad haha. Also, significant figures are the easiest thing ever! How has your Chemistry teacher or tutor not explained that to you yet? It’s probably the easiest thing about Chemistry. My first day was great, thanks for asking. It’s stressful as hell, though. I bet you’re the best swimmer there and who cares what fathers think, right? Be a singer if you want to. I bet you’d be #1 in like five countries or summat. Yes, I was in a football team in high school, but I’m not sure if there’s a football team here. If there is, I probably wouldn’t try out, because I’d probably suck in front of everyone.  I do drink and I do smoke, but only sporadically. Okay, maybe like every weekend. But you shouldn’t do something just because someone is pressuring you into doing it. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. I’m glad you’re looking forward into receiving this letter and becoming my penpal/friend._

__

_Sincerely, Lou._

 

_P.S I would love to watch The Little Mermaid with you._

-

Louis smiled as he put the letter into the envelope as he sat on his bed. He sealed it and placed it onto the nightstand before going to bed.

“What’s that? And who’s that?” Zayn asked as he eyed the envelope on the nightstand before his eyes scanned up to the corkboard with Harry on it.

“My letter to Harry and Harry.” Louis answered simply, sitting back up.

“Damn, Lou. The boy’s cute.”

“He has a boyfriend.” Louis retorted.

“Right, Lou. Okay.” Zayn sighed before sitting back on his own bed and painting some paper that he’d been painting for probably ages.

Louis just shook his head and fell asleep.

-

The next day, Louis went to mail the envelope. Now, all he had to do was wait for Harry’s response to his letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this chapter is so short and stupid and dumb and i updated late and idk im just not feeling this fic already omfg ahhhhh sorry i love u gys
> 
> and maybe chapter four will be better
> 
> also i didnt proofread and sorry if some of it didn't make sense

**Author's Note:**

> if there are mistakes, please tell me. some are on purpose and some are accidental, this is a chaptered fic so if you liked this i'll write more soon!!


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